It's a requirement for me.
I'm trying to proceed with a clearer head, and hearing differing opinions is good for me.
We live together for quite some time already and my SO knows that I need some time alone.
I usually would get annoyed spending too much time with the same person, but with him I don't at all. Not a lot when it comes to my SO.
But if I am REALLY requiring super alone time, I'll just go read in our bedroom or something. I really like her and want this to work, but I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with her need to constantly be alone.
After that we kinda do our own thing by watching TV, him playing games, etc.
So saying I have stuff to catch up on is always true.
It's 100% normal and healthy. She's had every opportunity to hike, so I don't know why she hasn't been. Last night it felt like she was putting blame on me, which hurt so much (since I haven't even around most of the time).
I go home and mindlessly occupy myself with Netflix, music, and aimlessly driving around, but I'm just lonely.
And nobody can be that. I'm in this exact same boat - and it just came to a head.
If we do feel like we spend too much time together we'll focus on our own projects and ignore each other but we'll stay in the same room. Maybe because our energy levels match more. I don't want to say anything to make things bad again.
You need to build a healthy communication with your girlfriend. But what's not fine is that she relies on me for nearly 100% of her socializing/emotional support. I've got some things I need to catch up on". When we hang out, I worry if she's not having fun, if she wants to leave/if she wants me to leave, etc. No you're not. I've lived surprisingly autonomously in my life, even when I was with my parents, and have a hard time being always together. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast.
Immature thinking perhaps, but the way she worded things made it seem like I'm a burden on her life... that I've suddenly appeared and haven shaken things up in a bad way.
I need one night a week to myself. It not only makes me feel trapped but, practically speaking, I don't get important things done. It's 100% normal and healthy. Here are just five of the signs that you may need more time spent in solitude. We both want an office/library area so then there will be the bedroom, living room, and the office to be in. Basically so long as there's time away from both him and others, I'm very comfortable with just a couple hours to myself.
As long as I don't work with the guy then 1 night a week is perfect for me. Heck, even extroverts need some alone time now and again.
you will need to dig up introversion links and let her read these and explain how it relates to you. Needing space does not necessarily mean your relationship is doomed.
If we do feel like we spend too much time together we'll focus on our own projects and ignore each other but we'll stay in the same room. Every time we talk about it, she concedes that she was wrong and promises to do better.
Alone time is normal. We also usually give each other half an hour after greeting the other when they come home. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. No you are not wrong. I see my girlfriend quite a lot and we sleep with each other most nights, but whenever I suggest we have a night to ourselves she is hurt by it, she tells me that it hurts her feelings and now I feel like the bad guy. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit.
We've lived together in small spaces for years and we're quote comfortable with that, I never feel like I need actual alone time.
So we never crowd or annoy each other. And how do you get this need for space and time met? However I will say that living with roommates was WAY more anxiety-making than living with my SO.
Once you have been together for awhile I think you reach a point of being comfortable with just them being there and not having to interact 24/7.
Everything blew up last night (out of nowhere).
I don't particularly like having a roommate of sorts, but I'm beyond excited to live with him.
It's a regular challenge, one I have to think about and isn't innate in me to do. And I actually wish this was more of a normal thing. We're both 22 F and haven't been together that long (1.5 months of seeing each other, 1 week of actually calling each other girlfriend). Constant interaction/conversation can be draining. I've got some things I need to catch up on". I get home from work earlier than my boyfriend and I go to bed later than him so I usually fit it in then. I need a good bit, but right now I get that because I'm unemployed (boo.) She says she feels like she's been neglecting her life since we got together, and wants to slow down. That's my issue I have to work on, I guess. I'll bake cookies while he plays video games, or I'll read while he's on his laptop, etc.
She asked me how much I would ideally like to see her, and I told her I needed two times a week at least (one sleepover).
Signs You’re Not Getting Enough Alone Time Your Relationship 1. He doesn't encroach in my personal space / need to be alone the same way other people do.
No, you just need to phrase your request for quiet time a little better. It just also can include reading, slouching, and watching tv uninterrupted. my own house, I plan, there's work or study or errands etc) then I am very satisfied with 1-2hours decompressing time with the other person present. I said ok and we got into it. I generally need an hour or two of quiet time, my hubby can be in the same room or somewhere else, as long as its quiet and I can focus on my own thoughts its fine. My gf is exactly like yours - not close to her family and doesn't have good friends. I like that quote. That's enough alone time for me.
I think it's healthy to just be apart for a bit.
I told her last night that based on what she's told me, the break will be good for us, and she agreed.
No you're not wrong. This past week we've only seen each other twice. AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. He sometimes goes on long walks with the dog, so that's another way he grabs some alone time. I'm moving in with my partner soon and needing alone time seems to be hard for him to understand. Thanks so much Reddit! This sounds perfect.
But I scored a man who's presence is calming and he also likes his alone time.
New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. At this point it seems like she's unwilling to do that. I miss her, but I don't miss how big a deal it was to get a quiet hour or two by myself. I work from home and he doesn't so I have a lot of time for myself. I like an hour or two every day. We have lived together since our 10 month mark.
That's perfectly normal. Honestly we're in the same room right now browsing Reddit, we've been quiet for the last hour so that's sorta alone time in its own way. Introverts just requite time to themselves. Not at all. Is this ultimately a bad match?
I need alone time too. As my grandmother used to say: "I can't miss you if you never go away". Over time we've adapted. When I'm with friends or my SO, I'm in the mindset of relaxing or having fun, and rarely can get out of it enough to get important errands done, etc. But one of my friends once said that I needed to find someone who wanted to spend as much time with me as I wanted to them, otherwise I wouldn't be happy.
Harsh but I needed to hear this opinion. This also means I spend less time with people outside the relationship one on one, which I think is important. The thing is, we're not seeing each other that much, which is why I'm struggling to understand where she's coming from. By setting the day or time that I want to spend time, I'm making it clear that they are important. I'm married but my wife and I still go and do our own things in the evening sometimes. It's not to be her all-encompassing support system. But sometimes I need to find different ways to say things. We're both 22 F and haven't been together that long (1.5 months of seeing each other, 1 week of actually calling each other girlfriend). Even if she says she'll change, she may not.
I know I'm talking to myself as much as you here, but believe me: You don't have to deal with this.
My partner works in hospitality, so he's out most nights, whereas I work during the day.
I definitely don't need to see her every day, that's not what I want or expect.
Boom. Now we're on a break and I think we're going to end it for good. She doesn't get along with her family very well and doesn't see her friends much so it's basically me she depends on for company. And please understand, I'm not talking about being secretive about wanting time apart, but sometimes the wording and timing of a conversation can go a long way into reducing stress for everyone.
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I'm wondering if it's enough. I feel like this is something to never tell my gf.
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